Mothers are ridiculously stupid.

So I just have to point out that regardless of her drinking, my mother is a good person while sober.
Key words there being: WHILE SOBER.
I can't fucking stand her otherwise. I mean don't get me wrong there are some instances where we can go out together and maybe the mixture of us both imbibing alcohol makes it okay.
When she comes home after drinking all night (and driving mind you) she decides to tell me all about her wonderful night. Asking me the same questions over and over. Showing me pictures of people I don't know and don't care to know. Interrupting a phone call with my father because she thinks she is more important and all of my focus should be on her.
I CAN'T FUCKING STAND IT.
And granted, I shouldn't be living here. I should be away at school, or living on my own. It's kinda a lose/lose situation.
But of course I get frustrated because A) she's driving drunk B) she's annoying the ever loving shit out of me & C) I can't just tell her to shut the fuck up.
So to her it sounds like I'm snappy... (her words not mine)... I told her I didn't know the people and I was happy for her and she turns around and says she can't believe she birthed a demon. (she walks away then comes back) she can't believe she even for a second thought to help me (I ASK HELP ME WITH WHAT?) and that I am an ungrateful idiot.
Gotta love momma, huh?
Then after starting to cook for who knows what reason, she goes outside and leaves the food cooking. (Let me just say she's done this before and had I not been walking into the house at the exact moment the smoke alarm went off... the house would be gone).
She comes in after about 25 minutes and starts babbling about how I'm unappreciative and how she gets it now. I have no friends because I'm a nasty person. And she will never be a good person in my eyes whether she's straight sober drunk or wasted.
(insert my laughter because she's fucking insane)
And then continues to cook.
I swear people... INSANE!
And I've never had to wonder why my moods change so quickly...
Wanna talk about mercurial... Some fifty shades? MEET MY MOTHER.